Eden’s post today on anonymity and privacy got me to thinking. Actually, that’s not true. What got me to thinking was a conversation I had with her on another topic. She had posted about something that I was uncomfortable posting about publicly, so I commented in private rather than leaving a comment on the blog.
I started a Blogger blog in early 2003. I posted very little of consequence throughout most of 2003, until going through the breakup that became my defining blogging moment. My little blog, read mainly by a handful of friends, became a place of catharsis. I blogged my pain. Soon after, I found comments, and blogrolls, and I began to get excited about being found by the random reader.
I used (and still use) my real first name. In the beginning, I was careful not to let my last name come into the blog space. Obviously, I wasn’t going for complete anonymity, but I didn’t want it to be too easy for people to find me. I wanted to maintain a bit of the privacy that Eden refers to.
Soon after the breakup, I began dating again. And of course, I started blogging about it.* I found a great many supporters, as well as the typical trolls. And then I got burned; one of the guys I was sortofkindofmaybe dating read the blog and didn’t take kindly to what I’d written. He sent me a scathing e-mail message, and I was shamed. I apologized and removed all mention of him from the blog. I became much more conscious of what (and who) I wrote about. From that point on, most players in my blogworld got pseudonyms. My ex, who had previously been referred to by his real name, became simply X.
During early 2004, I began subbing and teaching on a regular basis. Every now and then, I would write about things that had happened during school. I never named schools, or students, but still, I started to worry that what I wrote in my blog could possibly damage my employability.
When I met Rand in the summer of 2004, I didn’t refer to him at all. I didn’t want to jinx it, certainly, and I didn’t want him to read the blog until I was ready for him to read it. I would only talk about him in the vaguest terms, such as “my date”. When we started seeing each other regularly, I referred to him as “R”. After a while, that seemed silly and pointless, and I began using his full name.
These days, I’ve given up on any sense of anonymity/privacy I’ve ever had. My blog is read by numerous friends and family members (including both my mom and Rand’s mom. *wave*). I enjoy being able to reach friends and family members this way, and I’m pretty sure that those people enjoy reading me, but I have to admit that it’s sometimes limiting. The way I blog has changed a lot over the past three years. I mean, it’s not like erin-go-blog was ever “cutting edge blogging” or anything, but I’m now much more likely to think twice (heck, sometimes even three or four times) before posting. I’ve become just a smidge paranoid. These days, my posts trend toward commenting on various forms of entertainment, photos, and brief updates about what’s going on in my life. Erin-go-blog is “safe”, and sometimes I wonder if safe=boring. I’ve struggled to find a balance, and I’m still not sure if I’ve found it.
*most of those early posts were lost in the tragic blog incident of 2006.
“Safe” definitely does not have to be “boring.”
I try to consider each post a writing challenge. To write as well as you can, in an entertaining or interesting way as you can. I don’t always succeed in this, but it certainly makes the writing more satisfying. It’s one reason I tend to stick to longer posts several times a week rather than several posts a day.
I used to blog specifically for friends and family. While I still do that to some extent, I also found it limiting, plus I would rather talk to those people in person or on the phone. I blog assuming I have a large audience (even if it’s not necessarily true :-)). It’s more exciting that way, more challenging, more interesting, and ties into my general passion for writing.
It’s also harder and more time-consuming, but I have found that blogging this way has helped improve my writing overall. It’s one of the reasons I tend to avoid memes, though I can see how they’re fun from time to time. Because they’re so specific, easy, and tend to occur in waves (“all the cool kids are doing this particular meme now!”), they tend to be only of interest to people who actually KNOW you or is already familiar with your blog.
I would love to be able to always write in a way so that if a stranger happens to come across a blog post semi-randomly (via a Google search, whatever), they would still enjoy reading it. There are times when I’m too tired to write like this, or I =do= want to write about an event or person even though I know the post will be of interest to a smaller group. But hey, it’s my blog. 🙂
I’ve blathered on way too long about this. My advice to you: look back over your blog posts and pick out the ones that YOU enjoy re-reading. Then ask yourself why you enjoy re-reading them, and try to incorporate that somehow into your future posts. It differs from person to person. For me, I found it was usually the blog posts that I put more effort into.
We blog partly for other people, but mostly for ourselves.
Y’know, I was tagged for a meme about why we blog. I was going to ignore it as I do most memes, but the topic intrigues me. 🙂 Maybe I’ll participate in this meme after all…
Thanks, as always, for your input Debbie. 🙂
I think at least part of what I’m struggling with is that the reasons I blog have changed over the years…and I’m still trying to figure out what those reasons are.
Hey– thanks for surfing by. Yeah, I lost my since of annoyomity when I was pasted on the front page of the paper. I didn’t think the story would be so impactful.
Quick note: love this. Baby pulling on laptop. More tomorrow.
I’m so happy you do this. I feel like we’re still in touch and have been since the–um, six years since we graduated. Or has it been seven? 🙂
Heehee…it couldn’t possibly be more than seven, could it??
Finally a minute (and only a minute). What I wanted to say is that there’s safe to maintain your privacy and there’s safe that’s boring. You have interesting things to say. You have opinions and you keep a reader coming back. Plus your writing skill can make anything interesting. Safe can equal boring if there’s no content. What you have might be “safe” but you also have content and mad skillz 😉
Thanks for the comments. “mad skillz”, eh? I like that. 🙂
Continue writing– You are always interesting–Never boring–You have me coming back–Enjoy your many talents!!!–I am sure if you look back to all your years of writing–You have seen improvement in style, skill and content–Please continue to post as often as you want!– Thanks for my daily “Erin-fix”–You make my day a little more pleasant.
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