So I got another email from the ex yesterday. You know…the college boyfriend. The one who’s now married and born-again.

It is good to know that he’s doing okay. I’ve satisfied any curiosity I had. (I thought there was a remote possibility he could be gay. Apparently not. Or maybe just in deep denial…who knows…but not my problem.) But I don’t want it to become a “thing.” Especially a “thing” that would bother his wife.

Here’s one little tidbit from the message:

Anyway….I’m really glad to know that you’re not as you said harboring any bad feelings. I still feel bad about how things ended up and I wish things had turned out differently…at least I wish I had handled things differently if nothing else. I guess one of my problems has always been handling confrontations appropriately. I don’t know…I am glad that we can talk a little now at least. You’re a great person and you should be happy. Be pickey…you can afford to be…find a good guy before you settle down with him….

Er. Yeah. Let me just share with you all that he could not have possibly handled the situation more badly.

It’s been so long, and I’ve changed so much. I read his email now, and it’s like a stranger wrote it. I really have no idea who he is anymore. And that, I suppose, is how it should be.

But all in all, it just reinforces what I’ve known for quite some time now…that we were not meant to be together, that I would not have been happy with him in the long run, and that he is not what I need.

(what do I need? well, that’s another conversation entirely…)

But what we had was good once. It was exactly what I needed at the time, and it’s nice to remember that with a smile.