So at Paul and Trisha’s wedding a couple of weeks ago, I remarked that I wouldn’t want any inappropriate (ie sad) slow songs played at my wedding. R and I started a conversation about bad first dance songs. This prompted me to do a little bit of digging around on the internet. I came across a list of “suggested songs for your first dance,” and among them were these little gems.

I Will Always Love You (Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston)

If I should stay, I would only be in your way
So I’ll go, but I know I will think of you
every step of the way…

Unchained Melody (The Righteous Brothers)

Oh my love, my darling
I’ve hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
And time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
Are you still mine?

Against All Odds (Phil Collins)

So take a look at me now, oh there’s just an empty space
And there’s nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there’s just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that’s what I’ve got to face

Crazy (Patsy Cline)

Crazy, I’m crazy for feeling so lonely
I’m crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
I knew you’d love me as long as you wanted
And then someday you’d leave me for somebody new

Oh, just stab me with a pitchfork…

Killing Me Softly (Roberta Flack/The Fugees)

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song …

My Heart Will Go On (Celine Dion)

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Forget, just for a second, that it’s Celine Dion…and just remember that it’s the love theme from freakin’ TITANIC. This is a song about tragedy, people.

The Dance (Garth Brooks)

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you’d ever say goodbye

Yep, more pain and tragedy.

and the mother of all inappropriate wedding songs…

Every Breath You Take (The Police)

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

O can’t you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches with every step you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you

Since you’ve gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it’s you I can’t replace
I keep crying baby please

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you

Ummm…stalker, much?

Now I personally cannot concieve of choosing a song so utterly lyrically inappropriate. I can’t imagine sharing my first dance with my husband to a song that’s about pain, about heartbreak, about tragedy. It reminds me of a friend who told a story about her sort of clueless sister saying that Better Man by Pearl Jam was her and her boyfriend’s “song” because it was “so romantic.” So this led to another conversation, which led me to wondering…those of you out there who are married, what song did you choose for your first dance? Why did you choose it? Did you choose it because it was lyrically significant to you in some way, or because it had some sort of special meaning to you? I’d love to hear what you all have to say!