She opens her heart to an old memory.
She closes her eyes and she smiles.
Just ask her if she ever still thinks about me…
She’ll say ‘every once in a while’

-Blackhawk

The other day, I was talking to Ray, and I realized that I had to count on my fingers to verify how long it had been since the breakup w/assboy.

“That’s a good sign,” he said.

I agree. It is a good sign. However, the conversation got me to thinking…I wonder how it’s possible that he’s not tried to contact me. I wonder if he’s still living with mom. I wonder if, one day, I’ll hear that he’s getting married and collapse into a puddle of Sally-like goo.

All of this time, I’ve been saying that he just didn’t want to get married, but the truth is, he didn’t want to marry ME. Why didn’t he want to marry ME?

I am afraid of this scenario. I am afraid that my “no really, I’m fine” attitude is a facade that could collapse at any moment. Probably pointless to spend any time thinking about, though. No?

In other dating news, I was supposed to see Date yesterday but he cancelled. Is this worth it? 😛