Lately, I’ve been reminded of a Clint Black song that came out back in 2001 called Something That We Do. I’ve always thought it was a terribly romantic song…he wrote it for his wife, about their marriage and their relationship, and to me, it’s a perfect example of what it means to have a mature loving relationship.

We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can’t tell where I end and where you start

I think that a lot of the time, when we think of love, we think of that thrilling rush we feel the first time. Maybe that’s why first loves are so hard to get over. We express our feelings in terms of need. We identify this person as “completing” us…which of course assumes that we were unfinished in the first place and in need of completion. Romantic, yes, but maybe not the healthiest of feelings.

I felt that way with K, and when we broke up, I was sure I would never find it again…and in a way, I was right, because it never feels quite like it did that first time. But on the other hand, what we feel that second or third time around is in some ways better. It’s about knowing you have a full and complete life on your own, but wanting someone to share it with. It’s about having a true partnership. It’s about your mutual respect and desire for the other person. And most of all, it’s realizing that love is more than an abstract emotion.

It’s a verb.