This may fall under “TMI “, but here I go anyway…
The way I see it, women fall into two categories: thong wearing and non thong wearing. I’ve pretty much fallen into the latter category for most of my life. Friends who were in the former would swear by the virtues of the thong.
“They’re so comfortable.”
“Once you get used to it, you won’t want to wear anything else.”
“You just have to give it a chance.”
And so give it a chance, I did. I bought a few at Victoria’s Secret, tried them a couple of times. I usually ended up changing into something more comfortable the first chance I got. I can’t escape that feeling of fabric wedged into the crack of my butt. I don’t understand how other women ignore this. I don’t understand how they can actually say it’s comfortable. So the thongs wait in my dresser drawer, largely unworn.
Enter my new khaki pants.
I have this pair of dark khaki pants, sort of a stretchy material, that sit low on the waist and somewhat snug around the butt and hips. I wore them to school several weeks ago, and noticed that they tended to pull my undies into an uncomfortable position. I kept going behind my desk to ease them out.
I thought that would be the worst of it. I was wrong.
I was teaching an English lesson, and turned to write on the board. The entire 8th grade class burst into laughter. I turned around, and they muffled their giggles and turned their eyes down. I turned back to the board, and the same thing happened. This repeated for several minutes.
Did I have something on my back? Did I sit in something and have a gigantic spot on my ass?
With no way of knowing, I finished writing on the board and spent the rest of the day hiding my backside from the students.
When I got home, I checked my reflection in the mirror. The sight was not pretty.
The elastic from my panties was creating a well-defined line through the middle of my butt cheek. I’m not talking about a panty line…we’re talking ass line here. Excess cellulite bulging from beneath the elastic.
Talk about embarrassing.
The pants sat in my closet unworn ever since.
Until today. Today, I had to wear the pants. So I went to my underwear drawer and pulled out a thong.
I’m dealing with it, I guess. But I can’t wait to get home and change. I guess I’ll never be a true thong-wearin’ gal.