In Jen’s post, she requested that I share my experience with Annoying Book Lady. I thought I should do that, but first, I give you Part I: Annoying Library Guy.
Jen and I both have lists of books we want to read…not counting, of course, the piles of books we have started at home…so we decided to head down to Central library Friday afternoon to browse.
We found an excellent parking space, scrounged three quarters between us for the meter, and wandered in.
We met up about half an hour later, piles of books in hand. Jen knew that she needed to either update or get a new card, so I said I’d just get all the books on mine. I went to the new “self checkout” but got this message when I scanned my card:
There is a problem with your card.
So I took my card and pile of books up to the checkout desk and handed Annoying Library Guy my card.
“Your card’s expired,” he said.
“Oh,” I said. “How do I update it?”
“I just need your driver’s license.”
That would all be well and good, except that I don’t have my current address on my driver’s license. My address is updated with the DMV, and I put a sticker with my current address on the back where it says “write new address here.” I never bothered to get a new one.
“Then I need a piece of mail with your current address,” Annoying library guy said.
I dug through my bag, knowing that I had a couple of pay stubs. I handed him one.
“This is no good,” he said. “It has to be within the past month.”
I sighed.
I found something else…the certificate from my defensive driving course. It was dated April 16 (the date of the class), but there was no postmark on it.
No good, Annoying Library Guy told me.
I complained. I groused. The best he could offer me was to hold the books for three days and I could come back and get them.
“Forget it,” I said. “I’m not coming back.”
On Saturday, Jen and I made a quick trip to the Crane branch, the one nearest our apartment. There, we met Nice Helpful Library Guy.
I’d come prepared with a current piece of mail and told the guy that I needed to update. He asked me for my license. When I said I had a new address, he simply turned the license over and began typing my new address into the computer.
“You’ve *got* to be kidding me,” I said to Jen.
We explained Annoying Library Guy from the previous day, and he didn’t seem all that surprised.
Part II: Annoying Book Lady
Jen and I decided to go out and troll the yard sales on Saturday morning. One of my favorite things to do at yard sales is to dig through boxes of people’s old books, looking for things to add to my future-classroom-library collection.
We came upon a big block sale, and the first house we came to had boxes and boxes of books. I was horribly excited. There was another woman there, looking very much like a professional yard-saler…frizzy graying hair, mismatched clothes, the lust for blood in her eyes.
I started to browse through the books as I overheard her talking to the house owners.
“How about if I give you $15 for all of them?”
All of them? As in all of the books?
“She’s taking all of them?” I whimpered.
“Not this one,” she gestured toward a box I had just looked through, which had about 7 books left in it.
I slumped my shoulders in defeat. Jen caught sight of a couple more boxes on the porch and walked toward them.
“Those are mine too,” Annoying Book Lady said.
“Way to spoil all my fun,” I muttered, taking three books I had rescued from her evil clutches. “She didn’t even look at them. She’s probably going to sell them all on eBay.”
Sigh…