Ahem.
Here’s the abridged history of Erin and singing.
I loved to sing when I was a kid. I never had any kind of music or vocal training (well, I played the clarinet for two years…), but I joined chorus in middle school. I was always quite comfortable singing as part of a group. I was in show choir in 6th and 7th grade.
The summer between 6th and 7th grade, the community theater group in my hometown decided to stage a huge production of Annie for their 30th anniversary year. I decided to try out, and got a part as an orphan along with a dozen or so other girls. It wasn’t a speaking role, but still! Being on stage was such a rush.
When I was in 7th grade, the middle school music teacher decided to put on a musical. It was some cheesy written-especially-for-middle-school musical. Most of my friends tried out, and I meant to…but didn’t for some reason. I think I was sick the day of auditions or something.
So at the end of the year, the music teacher held auditions for show choir for the following year. I tried out. Anyone who had been in the musical sang something from that. The rest of us sang…I dunno…something patriotic. She played the keyboard while we sang.
I’m an alto, and she started me out WAY too high. She stopped and brought it down for me, and I did fine. So I thought.
Until the results were posted, and I didn’t get in.
I was cut from middle school show choir.
I went on to high school. It’s possible that the lure of a musical production could have brought me back, but my school didn’t put on a single musical in my four years there. Not one. I think there was some political BS going on between the drama teacher, the music director, and the principal. (aside: my high school principal was the spitting image of Ursula the Sea Witch. No joke. Okay, to be fair, she didn’t have any tentacles…)
Anyway. One friend tried to convince me to join show choir, but I repeatedly refused.
And on to college. I joined a sorority in college, and a big part of Greek life was participating in Greek Sing. My sorority was filled with amazing singers; women who were in the various elite college choirs. (still, we never won, because winning Greek Sing was never actually about the singing. But I digress.) That said, Greek Sing was taken very seriously. Because there were so many fantastic voices in the group, a small group of us dubbed ourselves the “tone-deaf club”, just because we were so far from being able to do what they could do.
I know I’m not actually tone deaf. I can decently carry a tune and stay more or less on pitch, provided that I have someone/something to follow and am within my limited range. (when harmonizing, I needed to be next to someone singing my part so that I could hear them. otherwise, I’d lose it.)
Which brings me to now. I love singing. In the car, in the shower, in large groups of people where I can blend in. The sing-along is my friend. I am absolutely, positively terrified of singing in front of people and actually allowing them to hear me.
So I ask, is this something I can get over at the no-so-tender age of 32? 🙂
Absolutely! I’ve sometimes said that confidence comes from trying and failing, and realizing that failing won’t kill you. One you realize the earth actually won’t open up and swallow you whole (no matter how much you’re wishing it might! *grin*), the pressure is redueced and its easier the next time and the tiem after that.
I *still* get stage fright, after years of theatre and singing in front of audiences. But I find that most of the fright is before starting — once I begin, you just let it go and it all works out.
And in closing, some words from Rev. Fred Small, from a wonderful sermon he did in 1999:
” Wherever you are, not just in church, not just in the shower, I invite you–no, I entreat you, to sing. Take that guitar out of the closet, dust it off, and play. Take that voice out of the closet, dust it off, and sing. Sing the joy of being alive. Sing the sorrow and the suffering and the pain. Sing because you are a human being on this planet Earth.
You know, the psalm is very forgiving. It doesn’t say, make beautiful music. It says, make a joyful noise–a joyful noise!–unto the Lord. The Lord is not your second-grade music teacher. The Lord doesn’t care if you sing off key. All God’s critters got a place in the choir. Make a joyful noise.”
What he said. 🙂
My first time singing in anywhere near a public setting (not counting various chorus settings in elementary/junior high school, which seems at my school to have been a lot less competitive than at yours) was at TorCon 2003, when I was 34, and yup, I was terrified. And it was a small, small room with only a few people. Since then, my confidence level has increased to a point where I’ll occasionally do one of my songs in a room of 20-30 people.
The basic welcoming nature of the filk community is a big part of that — because, at core, at its best, it’s understood that you’re among friends, people who WANT to hear you, who believe that everyone has something valuable to contribute. (These days, as I mentioned in that long and often insightful thread on Eloise’s journal, any reluctance or timidity I demonstrate isn’t so much a factor of being afraid to sing as it is my reticence in any social context where many of the other people have known one another and been close for many years. But that’s something I’m working on.)
I for one would love to hear you.
*See you tonight at the Brew Haus, if all goes well. Sadly, looks like I’ll be coming alone — most of the people I know who would enjoy Ookla are out of town or already committed.*
Thank you both…I know that if I ever wanted to sing publicly without fear of shame or embarrassment, I’ve found my chance. 😉
Dave, I do hope to see you tonight!
As one of those cursed with a wretched singing voice who will not sing aloud at gunpoint, I empathize with your situation. I hope you find the key that will release your inner Aretha Franklin. What I find annoying is the people who say “it’s easy to sing, just do it.” Of course, after hearing me try, they suggest I continue with my silence. When bubbly people urge you to sing, it is cute. When I suggest to someone that it is easy to remember the presidents and vice presidents in order and which regiment belonged to which brigade at the battle of Gettysburg, I get a scornful look. Why do we not accept each other as unique and different and let it go at that? Why all the proselytizing?
i was in musicals all throughout high school, and i always got the biggest acting part in the show THAT DIDN’T SING. my senior year, i got the lead in the musical. it was the king and i — the only show in the history of musicals where the male lead doesn’t sing. 🙂
still i perservered, convinced i could sing, even if no one in my high school could recognize that fact. within a week of being in college, i was the lead singer of three bands. on one memorable occasion, all three performed on the same evening. the following year i met adam. strangely, we didn’t start singing and writing together for another three years.
what was my point..?
The biggest piece of advice I gave in my performer’s tricks workshop: *we are all faking it*. 🙂
I shake sometimes when I’m debuting something new. My hands were shaking so awfully during “Six-String Love” that I was grabbing the mic just to give them something to do. Overall? I keep doing it because I love it, and just accept that sometimes it makes me nervous. So yes, that’s something you can get over if you want to. Singing in a safe place with friends is a good way to start. Smaller house filks. Sitting around someone’s hotel room at a con. One-on-one with a friend? 🙂
I’m sorry people said “it’s easy!” to Ray. Because of course for many people it’s not; everyone’s different. But! My mother gave private voice lessons in our home for years. I heard all kinds of people learn to sing, learn to hear, learn to hold a part. And sometimes it was very hard work, but because they wanted to, they did it.
I haven’t heard you sing, ’cause you were too quiet in the group for me to hear, but I can tell you that the holding a harmony part thing against a melody? You can learn that too.
In the end, though– do what makes you happiest. 🙂
Oh– and it’s completely breaking my brain to picture Rand bald. 😉
Oh, my god…you’re right! She did look like Ursula; I just never made that connection!
Well, casting your (freshman) daughter in the lead role of the first play in years kind of ticked people off. No more plays. Stupid teacher and even stupider daughter. Who looked like a frog.
Not that I’m bitter.
YES! SING!!!
Your description of how you feel about singing in front of people is EXACTLY HOW I FELT ABOUT SINGING AND STILL FEEL ABOUT SINGING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE MUCH OF THE TIME. Allison and Jodi dragged me kicking and screaming into singingland. Well, encouraged me enough so that I didn’t think my singing -completely- sucked.
If I can sing in front of people, you can.
Dear lord, I am SO going to talk about this when I see you in a couple of weeks.
🙂
And I bet I have a narrower vocal range than you.
Lord, girl, if we can get Debbie singing solo on stage we have the power to do anything. Glad you’re visiting us in Toronto in a few weeks >:-). It’ll be a highlight of any con I’m at if I get the chance to hear you sing in a filk circle.
And I loved Rob’s quote above. And I love the idea of Rand playing the King of Siam (I adore “The King and I”, it’s one of my favorite musicals).
What Allison said! 😀
Ok. More than that. 🙂
Honestly. I had horrible stage fright when I first started singing with Urban Tapestry. I was used to recording studio type stuff where you could have a “do over” and had absolutely no understanding of performance. Like Vixy, my hands will occasionally shake (and my voice too) when I’m debuting something new. It’s not something I think I’ll ever get over.
No vocalist, no matter how long they’ve been singing, is perfect. (Even when a well known singer is making an album, there are all sorts of pitch adjustment software programs in studios these days – and they tend to get a LOT of use!).
But there are lots of people who are discouraged from music at an early age even though they really do have all the tools they need to be awesome singers. It doesn’t matter what age you are. Not at all! If you really want to learn though, taking lessons from a vocal teacher can be very helpful – even if it’s just to show you that you CAN do it. 🙂 Confidence is half the battle! I think you’d be a fantastic singer, Erin. 🙂
uh oh…it’s an Urban Tapestry team up! 😉
What, who us?
(polishes the halo…)
Pitchfork, you mean.
>:-)
What? Us? Huh? 😀
Which brings me to now. I love singing. In the car, in the shower, in large groups of people where I can blend in. The sing-along is my friend. I am absolutely, positively terrified of singing in front of people and actually allowing them to hear me.
So I ask, is this something I can get over at the no-so-tender age of 32?
Oh, definitely!!! Only last year I was so terrified to sing in public – ask Allison or Debbie 🙂 and I swore to myself I’d never do it. This year, by encouragement of a dear friend, I did a mini concert at FilkCONtinental. I sang. On a stage. in front of people.
If I can do it, everyone can! Good luck! 🙂
Erin, you sang as a child, were in a choir, sang on stage and learned to play an instrument. I did NONE of those things (I was cut from public school choir partway through the first practice). I never thought I would sing. Now I find it joyous. And I am finally learning to play an instrument (a hand drum) and learning to read music (at 55).
You have far more experience than most filkers when they start. That will not stop your butterflies but it will probably mean that your early performances will not be painful for your audience! And even if they were, filking is all about encouraging each other and growing together.
I look forward to hearing you sing.
Now that Debbie’s got everyone coming after you to sing… 🙂
There’s been a lot of good advice already. I’d say to take it by easy stages. You don’t have to sing in front of a 200-person circle to start with. (Not that your turn would ever come around anyway…) Join the small circles, with friends of yours. Sing something short and simple. Then proceed by steps as you feel comfortable.
Hiya Erin,
I don’t think we’ve ever met, but I just wanted to drop you a line to say I absolutely support you in getting out there and singing in front of others. What Vixy says is very true, and the advice I’ve given to my mates is to start small – singing to one friend, for example.
Filk was the first place I sang solo, and I’ve found it a wonderfully supportive community for taking those small steps and finding real delight in sharing music and playing to and with others!
I had almost forgotten what my early singer’s nerves (as opposed to other instruments) had felt like until I started doing a completely different type of music last year (classical) – and remembered all over again what it was like to be scared of people hearing me sing.
Wishing you all the luck in the world – and happy singing! And if you ever need a piano accompaniment and I’m at the same con… *grins*
Love Mich x
Sing! Sing! Sing!
You can start out by singing for filkers, because they appreciate all singers no matter how proficient they are, and then moving on to more demanding audiences. I’m sure you sing very well, and the only thing you lack is confidence.
Ah, I might have known Debbie was responsible for the influx of comments! Thanks for your encouragement, everyone…I think baby steps are the key!
Old italian proverb…da olive don’t fall dat far from da tree
love you sweetie…go for it !
I’m not sure my saying “hey, if I can get up and sing you can get up and sing!” will be any help because some days it seems like if I can get up and sing then squid can get up and sing at least as well but if I can… And I’m more than willing to be your bad example. (as in — “well, at least I won’t be that bad.” *g*)
I look forward to hearing you!