Category Archives: dating

Only in the movies?

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So I was on a date last night with a guy who is in the final stages of a divorce. We went out to dinner, and who should happen to be at the restaurant but…dum dum dum…his wife.

His wife.

I am not making this up.

They’ve been legally separated for a year and at this point, it’s just a matter of putting the final paperwork through. They remain on amicable terms (although he did say “We’ll see if that holds true after this.” eek!). She and her friend were dining on the patio, and said she saw him walk by. So she stopped by the table to say hello on her way to the ladies’ room.

I’m betting she also wanted a closer look at me…

He said, “I thought these things only happened in the movies.”

I said, “Well, if it didn’t actually happen to people in real life, no one would write it into a movie…”

Nobody writes about the second date…

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In these past 9 (almost 10) months, I’ve done a lot of reading about dating. I’ve perused a number of books, articles, online articles, etc., and I’ve noticed a trend.

No one writes about the second date.

They write about how to find dates. They write about how to get ready for the first date. They write about how to successfully turn that first date into a second date.

But after that? They skip ahead. Start talking about relationship issues. When to become exclusive. When to get physical. When to say “I love you.”

But why does no one write about that second date?

See, I have this sort of curse.

I don’t seem to have a problem getting dates. In fact, there have been times when I’ve been overwhelmed with first dates and have had to step back.

Usually, if there’s a first date and no second date, that’s my doing. Not always, mind you, but usually.

But the second date, well, that’s another story.

I’ve had a significant number of guys who, after a first date, seem very interested in seeing me again. So we make that second date. We go out, and have a grand time. Again, they seem very interested in seeing me again. Sometimes they even ask, “can I see you again?”

And then?

Nothing.

No phone call. No email. No polite brush-off. Just nothing.

They disappear.

Can anybody tell me where these guys are going? Is there some great vacuum into which these guys are pulled? Are they with all of the Other Socks, missing pens and earring backs that also disappear, never to be found again?

I tried desperately to research the topic, and what I found was a void.

No one talks about it. I can’t be the only one, can I?

Couldn’t escape if I wanted to…

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This post on age-appropriate dating over at Mediocrity’s Co-Pilot got me to thinking…does the same mathematical rule apply to women? Spencer says “why not?”

But I know that there does seem to be some kind of societal taboo about women dating younger guys. I wouldn’t think twice about dating a guy 7-8-9 years older than me…(although that does enter into the question of whether or not one should date men in their late 30s who have never been married. I’ve had this conversation with a few people who say no, absolutely not…because they’re likely to be either unapologetically single with no intention of settling down, or have some deep dark aversion to commitment. Anyway…)

However, I start feeling a little weird about the prospect of dating a younger guy…why is that?

I met my husband on eHarmony.com!

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Um, not so much.

I’m so sick of these commercials. I want to write to Dr. Neil Clark Warren and tell him MY story.

Immediately after the breakup with assboy, I put myself out there on a few of the dating sites. On roommate’s urging, I did the eHarmony thing, mostly to find out if it was a secret Christian dating site. (it’s not…but when she did it, she was ONLY getting the Bible bangers.) And what happened? I met the craziest of all the crazies I’ve ever dated. Ever. Anyone who’s been keeping up with the blog, I give you Country Boy, the country-singing financial planner with the one-legged bass player and psycho ex-fiance.

29 Dimensions of Compatibility my ass.

Every once in a while…

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She opens her heart to an old memory.
She closes her eyes and she smiles.
Just ask her if she ever still thinks about me…
She’ll say ‘every once in a while’

-Blackhawk

The other day, I was talking to Ray, and I realized that I had to count on my fingers to verify how long it had been since the breakup w/assboy.

“That’s a good sign,” he said.

I agree. It is a good sign. However, the conversation got me to thinking…I wonder how it’s possible that he’s not tried to contact me. I wonder if he’s still living with mom. I wonder if, one day, I’ll hear that he’s getting married and collapse into a puddle of Sally-like goo.

All of this time, I’ve been saying that he just didn’t want to get married, but the truth is, he didn’t want to marry ME. Why didn’t he want to marry ME?

I am afraid of this scenario. I am afraid that my “no really, I’m fine” attitude is a facade that could collapse at any moment. Probably pointless to spend any time thinking about, though. No?

In other dating news, I was supposed to see Date yesterday but he cancelled. Is this worth it? 😛

Then why choose fear?

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Thanks for your comments, thoughts and insights on the dating life of erin-go-blog. I’m closing discussion on this topic for now. Some close friends have convinced me that I need to “save tomorrow for tomorrow, think about today instead.” (yep, I’m all about the musicals today…) : )

So that’s what I’m going to do. Relax. Take a chance. Stop putting so much pressure on myself. Be honest about my feelings. Live, laugh, love. Because that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

 

So much to blog…

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so little time…

And so here is the abridged erin-go-blog. Thanks for your patience, blog friends. 🙂

The move is complete, but for some cleaning at the old place. And a whole lot of unpacking. And more cleaning. Sigh. I hope to not move again until I have a house and/or a husband. Many thanks to Tim and Dayna and to mom and dad for all your help!

Between the move and the bleeping phone company (which I will call “Werizon”), I haven’t had internet access since Friday. If you’re reading this, it means I’ve made my way back online. If I had a normal computer at work, I could have been keeping up, but I’ve been cursed with the oldest, slowest mac in the Diocese of Buffalo. Bleah.

In job news, been playing phone tag with a guy on the hiring committee at West Seneca West Senior High who apparently wants to interview me. Hurrah! Let’s hope this is a good sign.

Can I just say that, while I hate moving, I *heart* cable. Oh, Jon Stewart, how I missed you.

The apartment is good…there are a lot of small annoyances. For example, the bathroom floor sinks. And when I say “sinks,” what I mean is “plunges into a deep abyss.” The flusher on our toilet was broken, but that’s been fixed.

On the dating front…hmm…been in touch w/Date regularly, but haven’t actually seen him. Am afraid that my friend M (whom I have not blogged about previously) wants to cross over into “more than friend” territory, and am not sure how I feel about that. I need to spend some time calling in the one. 😉 Am contemplating the possibility of a date with a certain former landlord of my roommie. Am also contemplating the unattainable crush I seem to have on a certain musician. Sigh. Damn musicians. 😉

Advice is always welcome…

Margaritas and darts

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So, at the request of Dayna, here is the quick run-down of the date… 😉

Date and I were set to meet at Cozumel for drinks at 8:30-8:45. I had gone for dinner at Anchor Bar with Jen, Brenda and Steph, so I figured I would just hang out at Jen’s until it was time to meet. I checked my messages, and Date had left a message saying that he was going to be running a little late, and that he’d call when he was getting ready to leave. I tried, in vain, to figure out how to remotely change the outgoing message on my machine. No luck. I checked again, and he’d left another message asking me to call when I got the message. No number, though. O, if I were one of those photographic memory types who remembered a phone number after dialing it once. Um, not so much.

So after a few minutes of grumbling, it is determined that I must run home to find the number and call him back. He just wanted to make sure that I still wanted to meet, even though it was going to be late.

Anyway…we do meet up at Cozumel, around 9:20. I decide to go ahead and order the margarita, because….well, it’s Cozumel, and I can’t concieve of drinking anything else there. (They make the best–and most potent–margaritas in town. Yum!) We chat for a bit, catching up (remember, I haven’t seen him or spoken to him other than email and IM in like three weeks!) while waiting for the dart board.

So we play, and I’m quite certain that I’m going to get my butt kicked. He’s in a league. However, fortunately for me, it takes Date several rounds to adjust his throw for crappy bar darts. I’m actually doing pretty well, and we’re about neck-in-neck. I’ve got 17 points, he’s got none, and everything is closed but bulls.

Well, you all know how good (ahem) I am at hitting the bull. So I lost. We chat some more, and it’s very nice….about everything and nothing in particular, and just comfortable. Easy. Nice.

We decide to have another drink and head over to the bar to sit. I embarrass him by telling him that Caren described him as being like “one of the girls.” hee. He said that he is “on the cusp” of metrosexual…that is, he takes some pride in his appearance and actually likes to shop, but does not go get his nails done. Hence “on the cusp.” Again, hee. 🙂

So when we parted for the evening, there was another pleasant goodnight kiss…he thanked me for putting up with his crazy schedule, and said “maybe next time we can have food.” 😉

All in all, I like him. He’s fun to talk to, he makes me laugh, and he just seems like an all around good guy. And there is definitely an attraction there. So….I’ll be thinking good thoughts about this one. We’ll see…. 😉

Busy busy

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Haven’t had much of interest to say lately…just been working, sleeping, nothing very exciting. I do have a date tonight (whoo! it’s been a while…), so I’ll keep ya posted on that.

Fun photos up at the Jackdaw site from last week’s show at Niagara U. Here’s a sample:

Yeah, that’s me all the way on the left. It’s a candid moment. : )

(I did it! woohoo!)