Well, the stress dreams seem to have left me…at least for the time being.
I’ve been thinking a lot about wedding traditions lately. Everyone seems to have such strong opinions about them, and it can be very difficult to buck tradition. Here are some of the things Rand and I are thinking about doing (and not doing).
The garter/bouquet toss
I stopped being amused by the bouquet toss approximately ten years ago. Plus, there won’t exactly be hordes of single people at the wedding. It’s a dwindling group…the last thing I want to do is humiliate my remaining single friends and family.
Okay, I’ll admit that it was sort of cute when Rand and I caught the respective objects at my brother’s wedding…but still…
The Chicken Dance
Is this really a tradition? Ah well. I must admit that I actually *enjoy* the chicken dance. It stays.
The Dollar Dance
I know that the dollar dance is a regional/cultural tradition, and those who didn’t grow up with it tend to find it appalling. I don’t want to do it, but not because I think it’s tacky…I don’t want to do it because it takes freaking forever. The bigger your wedding, the more people lining up to dance. Augh.
Can anyone tell me why the “girly” shot for the dollar dance is always Peach Schnapps? Blergh.
The Bridal Party
This is the one I think I might take some flak over. Rand and I have discussed this one at length…and we’ve decided not to have a traditional bridal party. Many of our friends and family will be involved in the wedding in important ways, and we’d rather have them doing important things than wearing matching clothes and posing for pictures.
And my friends, the ones I will turn to for advice, the ones who will be holding my hand and keeping me sane through all of this, will be doing that regardless of what they’re wearing.
My cousin Brandy will be my sole “attendant”–in charge of holding my flowers, etc. We’re also going to get Rand’s nephews involved in some way.
The huge, towering cake
Haven’t quite worked out what we’re doing here…but I’m thinking of a small ceremonial cake for Rand and I to cut, and some other (less expensive) option to serve our guests…perhaps sheet cake, or cupcakes made and decorated by family if that’s logistically possible.
The DJ
Already been discussed. No DJ.
I think I’m forgetting some things, but that’s good enough for now, I think. What are your favorite/least favorite wedding traditions?
I totally agree with you on the small wedding party! I love the cupcake idea, I think it’s an awesome idea to have your family decorate them.
“Plus, there won’t exactly be hordes of single people at the wedding. It’s a dwindling group…”
Hmmm. I’m sure you meant no harm here. I prefer to think of myself as part of an endangered species. 😉
Cupcakes! Do cupcakes! That would be SO cute!
Our wedding cake was from Wegmans and it was fantastic. A basic two-layer 8″ circle cake. I’ll get photos sometime 😉
No Buck & Doe dance. Yuck. Unless you’re getting married in a fire hall.
(I just realized I commented on the feed, which you probably won’t see)
The dollar dance has a “girly shot” involved? Man am I glad I don’t know what you’re talking about. I only barely even know what a dollar dance *is*.
We didn’t do the garter because we both kinda find it tacky, but Fishy found it especially so (all the catcalling when the groom removes it, etc.) I threw the bouquet because… I dunno, it was there. (I confess to having snuck a glance at where my sister was before turning my back.)
I have always hated the face-cake-smush. That one didn’t require any discussion; we both think it’s stupid. Hi! I love you! Now I shall humiliate you! Uhhhh… what? Plus we both figure his mom would have killed us. 🙂
I agree with you and Vixy on the garter (ugh! I’ve only seen it once). Didn’t know about the dollar dance or chicken dance (tells you something about my social circles, I suppose). My mother-in-law hired the quartet of a friend of hers (a flautist), so no DJ…
And we didn’t have a formal wedding party at all. As you’re planning, we had friends and relatives help with specific tasks, and we trusted them to dress appropriately. And they did.
I used to post as Jenn but having more than one person with the same spelling gets a little confusing so I’m BuffaloJenn.
We did the bouquet/garter thing but we kept it tasteful. That was 12 years ago; I don’t know if I would keep it if we were getting married now.
I love the chicken dance, too; it’s kind of an icebreaker sometimes. We kept it.
Love the cupcake idea! I order cakes for events from Wegmans or Pumpernick and Pastry. Always delicious — reliability is a big thing.
I’ve noticed that the days of the massive wedding party are ending, and I’ve been to several weddings recently with bridesmaids wearing corsages, but not wearing matching dresses or “attending” the bride.
My cousin, several years ago…and I’d never seen it before, had a cupcake wedding cake. They used the traditional wedding cake tiers and arranged the cupcakes on and around them. I thought it was a great idea, and it looked amazing. They cut one of the cupcakes to share. They were not so caught up in tradition, but invested in making it a fun occasion that fit their style, and it really was the best wedding I’ve ever attended.
Samantha, I read that line the same way…Ouch.
As a dwindling species I for one can say that I was never humiliated in my life for being single and therefore involved in a bouquet toss, truthfully, I just could care less.
HOW WILL I EVER GET MARRIED AND FIND SOMEONE IF I DON’T CATCH A BOUQUET!!!
In case you ever wondered, I do read your blog!
Cupcakes at weddings are extremely trendy right now and can be cheaper. They aren’t always cheaper though so be careful. It was cheaper for us to have the cake than the cupcakes…weird.
Forget the bridesmaids. No offense but I would have completely not done it. ROB wanted 5 guys in the wedding party and since it was his wedding too…..I would have rather taken the route you are going down.
Please don’t toss the flowers. Just too embarrassing for people…..it should be outlawed….
Just my random comments. The great part is….if you are having fun so will your guests.
Mary! Thanks for the comments. 🙂 I really do appreciate the widsom of those who’ve gone down these roads…
I was at a wedding once where there was practically a fistfight over the bouquet, and then they did the garter thing….and it was SO creepy. (old drunk guy trying to be funny with a young cute girl. ugh.)
We didn’t do a bouquet toss for the very reason you cite: a lack of single women. I spoke to a single friend who was at my reception, just to say I wasn’t going to do one b/c I thought it would be embarrassing for her but if she wanted to, I would. She was SO grateful — I can still see her face when I said she wasn’t going have to stand out on the floor and try to grab some flowers flying through the air. Plus there’s the expense of buying a toss bouquet, the time all of this stuff takes up at the reception, etc.
Then again, I never participated in a bouquet catch b/c people act rabid and crazy and I felt it was demeaning. Even with people trying to push me (physically) to do it. It was like, That’s exactly why I don’t want to do this. You think it’s funny and it’s just ridiculous and I would feel ridiculous doing it. Damn, I’m harsh. 😉
Do what makes you happy, not what others expect.