Said visit to the home of my parents was, of course, in Pennsylvania. As you know, Pennsylvania is a swing state. Ten minutes of watching television, and I was ready to KILL MYSELF.

“No, seriously, how long have you been putting up with this?”

“A long time,” my mother said.

“I don’t think I’d turn on the television EVER.”

Every commercial break there were at least three campaign ads IN A ROW. GAAAAAAAAH.