Anyone who has known me for any length of time has probably at one time or another heard me talk about my fear of The Wet. I understand that just exactly what constitutes The Wet can be confusing, so I decided to put together this handy guide.

First, things that are wet, but not The Wet:

• Shower/bath
• Hand washing
• Dish washing
• Swimming pools
• Hot tubs
• Waterslides

Things that are The Wet:

• Water from the sink/bath/shower/pool spraying or splashing you while fully clothed
• Stepping in a puddle of water (especially with socks on)
• Snow or slush that creeps into your socks
• Getting caught in the rain without an umbrella
• Being tossed or pushed into any body of water with clothes on
• The dish towel hanging on the edge of the sink that accidentally gets soaked
• Any water trapped in an item that comes out of the dishwasher that unexpectedly comes out, soaking me or dripping all over the floor
• DISHES PUT AWAY WET. ACK.
• The bottoms of pants getting soaked with rain/snow
• Dishes at the salad bar that just came out of the dishwasher-WET. (dude, I’m not putting my bread on a wet plate.)
• Overhanging eaves/ledges that drip water on you (especially on your head)
• Amusement park log rides

Disclaimers/exceptions

On hand washing…I can’t stand to wash my hands with my rings on. I must set them down or put them in my pocket, and put them back on only after my hands are totally dry, otherwise, water gets trapped underneath them. OMG, the WET. Also, I hate those stupid blowy air dryer things. I keep hand sanitizer in my purse for such occasions.

I am nearly certain I’m forgetting something, so I will add on if anything else comes to mind…