Then why are you smiling?

Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don’t know.

Westley: And what is that?

Inigo Montoya: I am not left handed.

No, my friends. I am not left handed.

However, I’ve recently made a bizarre observation.

Most of you know at least something about my dating history. Up until now, I’ve had three significant long-term relationships. J in high school, K in college, and assboy.

They were all left handed.

And so is R.

So apparently? My “type” is left handed. Because really, this is the ONLY thing these four men have in common.

heehee.

A special kind of desperate?

Someone on a message board I frequent posted a response to a question about online dating that they “never have and never will” because it “takes a special kind of desperate.”

Desperate? Really?

I think of myself as a lot of things, but “desperate” is not one of them. I know there are a lot of other people who read erin-go-blog who have tried internet dating, with varying degrees of success/failure.

Stephanie met her dear husband on an internet dating site.

For my part, I just so happen to have met the intelligent, attractive, articulate and witty R on an internet dating site.

The way I see it, it’s just one more way of opening yourself up to meet more people. I ventured that I’ve met just as many freaks, losers and weirdos in bars as I have online. She replied that at least in bars, you can see who you’re dealing with and know if you want to proceed further. Well…yes and no.

I’ve always treated online dating as a sort of “blind date” with a pre-screening process. When I’ve met someone online, I have generally exchanged a couple of emails, spoken on the phone, and decided from there, rather quickly, whether or not this is a person I care to meet. My instincts have served me fairly well. As far as I know, I’ve not been on a date with anyone who’s married, homicidal or overtly creepy. No one has stalked me.

I understand being wary of it. I even understand not wanting to participate in it. But I don’t understand condemning the thousands of perfectly normal, functioning members of society who choose to use online dating sites as a means to meet new people.

What do you think?

Wondering

A good friend asked me recently if R had access to erin-go-blog…I said that I didn’t know, but have been sort of treating it as if he did. So of course, since then, I’ve been obsessively wondering if he’s found it and has been reading.

Has he?

🙂

Weekend highlights

It’s been a very good weekend.

Spent Friday evening with R…dinner at one of those “stuff on the wall” places. Am becoming braver in my food ventures in that R ordered salmon, and I accepted a taste when it was offered.

And I liked it…well, but for the fact that it wasn’t seasoned well (read: not at all). So I wouldn’t order it at this particular restaurant, but I will definitely be trying it at some other place.

I had a mediocre chicken caesar salad. I prefer my caesar dressing creamy.

The two drunk men at the booth adjacent to ours became our new best friends. Upon overhearing R confuse Ann and Nancy Wilson in a conversation we were having about Cameron Crowe, Drunk Guy #1 interjected with a correction.

Later, when I went to the ladies room, R was sucked into a conversation with Drunk Guy #2, who lives and works in LA as a screenwriter. They offered to buy us drinks, but we politely declined.

When I came back, we did the whole introduction thing, and I had to laugh at Drunk Guy #2’s reaction to R’s name.

“You mean like McNally?”

hee!

We left at the first convenient moment (these guys could have gone on all night…).

I did have one kind of sad moment…I was having a conversation with R about him being the guy who knows random crap like the name of the bass player for the Scorpions (it’s Lothar Heimberg. Seriously. It’s freakish.), and I said, out loud,

“It’s really too bad we don’t talk to our friend K anymore. She’d like you.”

She would.

It’s too bad.

Anyway…

He gave me two more of his band’s CDs to listen to…one of them is a rock opera about monkeys.

No, I’m not kidding. I’m dating a guy who has written a rock opera about monkeys.

😉

We watched “Shanghai Noon,” which is far funnier than it has a right to be. I just may become an Owen Wilson fan myself…

He invited me to a little get-together his friend T was having at his house on Saturday…this friend is kind of like his Jen. They met freshman year of college, and have been tight ever since. I was very, very happy to accept the invitation.

He picked me up on Saturday and we headed to the dinner party. I was nervous, of course, but his friends were kind and gracious and nothing short of wonderful. The moment we arrived, T shook my hand and said “I know you’re Erin. I saw your picture on the world wide web!” T, who also has an English-type background, asked me questions about what I do, etc. I explained that I have certification to teach secondary English, but haven’t found a “real” teaching job yet. He asked me where I got my certification and was surprised to learn that I went to the very school where he and R both work.

I never saw either one of them, as far as I can recall. Weird, eh?

I told him where I work, and about the teaching gig, and R interjected, “She’s also a writer.”

That made me smile.

I learned that one of the other guests is a teacher at St. Mary’s…the music teacher. It was his class I was subbing for when the girl jumped out the window. We had a laugh about that.

After dinner, we played Cranium. (I’d never played before…what a ridiculously fun game!) We played guys against girls and the girls kicked ass. Whoo!

When we left, R’s friends invited us to come back any time. T’s wife hugged me. When we got into the car, I asked R if he thought I “passed.”

“Oh come on,” he said. “I wasn’t even a little bit concerned about that.”

🙂

You say he’s just a friend

So the meeting of Jen and R went quite swimmingly, I must say…when we left to go grab a bite to eat, he said, “Jen is very cool. I can see why you two are such good friends. She really brings you out.”

Aww…

R also got positive reviews from Jen. 🙂

So yeah, I’m not really sure what I was so worried about…other than the fact that it’s kind of a “step.” We’re still in that ambiguously undefined territory, enjoying whatever it is that we’ve got going, but still not quite naming it. Which, actually, is okay with me. It’s fielding the questions from others that’s the hard part.

Jen was on the phone with John when we came home, and Jen had apparently (I think) referred to R as my “friend.” And John wanted to know if he was “just a friend.” I didn’t have a response to offer. I just smiled, and probably blushed a little.

Well…definitely more than “just a friend.” I think we’ve effectively established that fact…

This man is completely unlike anyone I’ve ever dated before. Ever. And this is, I think, a very, very good thing.

He’s intelligent, witty, charming.

He makes me laugh.

He inspires me.

He makes me feel beautiful.

Every moment I spend with him, I learn a little bit more about him. I like what I’m learning, and I want to learn more…

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Yeah, so it’s gray and rainy and yucky outside.

And yeah, I’m stuck at work with too much to do and little will to do it.

And yeah, stupid tutoring job cancelled my shift for tonight. (again)

But I don’t care.

I have lots of things to smile about.

🙂

A good date

I think it can be considered a good date when you come home with the smell of him still lingering on your clothes.

And you smile…

🙂

Okay, where is he? :)

I finally finished Calling in The One last night. I was dangerously close to the 6-month mark. (If you haven’t finished the course in six months, you may seriously want to evaluate your desire to yada yada yada…)

I’ve been stuck on the last two lessons for weeks. Probably more like a month. But I finished them both last night. Yay for me. Introspection and self-awareness all over the damn place. (Yes, I’m being flip…but I am honestly glad to have done it. It was most helpful in exploring assboy-related issues, especially.)

So what was it that motivated me? Perhaps remembering the “intention” that I set back whenever it was that I got to that lesson: to be in a loving, committed relationship by my birthday. Eek! (It was about four months ago, because I remember thinking “four months! Am I crazy?”)

Because as we all know, my birthday is but 9 days away…

So the intention may have to be reevaluated. Or maybe not…who knows…

Not-so-much Sex and the much smaller City

Yesterday, Hilary at Superfluous Juxtaposition talked about first date outfits. Jen(nifer) waxed philosophical about her “first date skirt.”

At this very time, I was trying to decide what to wear on my own date.

“Jen? I’m running out of shirts to wear on dates,” I said.

I have several “cute” tops. That is to say, tops that I will wear out, that I do not wear to work, and that are not t-shirts with the name of my favorite band printed on them. But only a few. So what do you do when this supply runs out? You’re not comfortable enough yet with this person to repeat, and you’re definitely not comfortable enough to wear those t-shirts.

So what’s a girl to do?

I think shopping is the answer.

Might be a short-term solution, but it doesn’t address the bigger question…at what point is it okay to repeat? Does the repetition of outfits mean that it’s (gulp) serious?

And then I have to wonder…do men even notice this stuff? Do we obsess over what to wear only to find that it’s completely irrelevant? After all, I remember that I was wearing a button-down yellow fleece when I met assboy, and despite the poor fashion choice, he still somehow fell for me. 😉

Why internet dating sites are fun

You get messages like this:

hi it is me *** i saw ur profiles and was hopeing u had the same id here., i am *** a crtified welder a professinal painter and a part time massussei, was hopeing we could chat soem times…i took the test and it said we were a exceptional perfect match, i just hope u agree,, urs awaiting *** p.s. i loved the pics, u r sooo cool funny and crazy out going, , i really hope this gets to u so we can talk, be friends and maybe a lot more..