So here’s the truth…

I haven’t made a single wedding-related decision since I ordered the dress.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am terrible at decision-making. Sometimes I’m paralyzed by the question of what to eat for lunch. And God forbid that I make a decision and then, for whatever reason, have to make a different selection. That entree you wanted? We’re out of it. Sorry, no cranberry juice. Etc. And what is planning a wedding but constantly making decisions?

Thankfully the big stuff is out of the way…but now, we have all of these little decisions to make, and I know that I should probably get moving on some of them, but I just don’t want to. One of my aunts wants to buy me something wedding related for Christmas. She suggested toasting glasses, but she wants me to pick them out. Could there be something I’ve thought about less? I don’t think so. Several people have asked what I’m going to do with my hair. Uhm…I dunno?

Veil? I dunno. Flowers? I dunno. Cake? I dunno. You get the idea.

Lots of people, of course, ask me how the plans are coming. I smile and say “fine.” And then I feel a slight pang of panic deep down. Am I supposed to be doing something? What am I supposed to be doing? 

I’m not going to pretend that I never considered the idea of my wedding until the moment I was engaged, but I’m certainly not one of those girls who had everything all figured out ahead of time.

I don’t really know what my point is here…I know I’m rambling.  I guess I’ve always known that I didn’t really care about most of this minutiae. I’m just now realizing how much. And yet, the decisions will have to be made anyway…

I’m afraid I don’t have anything terribly profound or interesting today. I had to stop in at Barnes & Noble today. I was on my way to an appointment and had forgotten to bring my book to read (I had taken it out of my bag at school and left it there….gah), so I figured I’d pick up a magazine to read while I was waiting. I decided on the current issue of Martha Stewart Weddings.

This was exactly the second wedding magazine I’ve purchased. The first was an issue of…I don’t even remember…Brides, probably, that I picked up shortly after becoming engaged. And much like I did with the first one, I finished flipping through it thinking “Well, that was a waste of money.”

There’s so little practical advice in them, particularly for people who don’t plan on spending insane amounts of money on their wedding.

I haven’t read it, but I picked up this book once at a bookstore: One Perfect Day–The Selling of the American Wedding. (I would love to read it. I’m just not sure I want to own it.) The thesis statement of the book is that the wedding industry is out of control. I can’t disagree. And while I am having a wedding, I’m not going to lose my mind (or enter into bankruptcy) over it.

What was my point? Oh, yeah…Bridal magazines. All of them (there used to be, like, two. What happened?) work to perpetuate this whole “perfect day” myth. As I’ve said before, and will continue to say, I’m much more concerned with the marriage than with the wedding. Yeah, we’re spending a decent chunk of money on the party…but we’re doing it because we want our friends and family there with us. We want it to be a true celebration of our love and our life together, not some fairy-tale idea of a perfect day.

But speaking of the day…there are lots of things that we have to do still, I know, but I’m finding myself wishing it would just be here already. Truthfully, it would probably have been sooner if not for my choice of careers and the uncertainty of it all (you know, the having no idea whether or not I’m going to have a steady job in the spring…). It seems too far away right now, but I know it’ll be here before I know it. And so I’ll continue waiting, and making plans…and I will pledge to buy no more wedding magazines. 😉